On Fecklessness

Say what you like about John Howard - but he's the consummate politician:

PRIME Minister John Howard will be hoping to drive a wedge between Labor MPs today when he forces a parliamentary vote on Australia's troops in Iraq.
Mr Howard will introduce a motion in the House of Representatives this afternoon expressing support for the 850 Australian troops in Iraq and for the government's plan to keep them there until their job is done.
But with the government having the numbers to defeat the amendment, opposition MPs will have to decide between voting with the government, voting against the motion and being seen as refusing to support the troops, or abstaining from the vote altogether.

Margo is going to go off!

DESCENDANTS of slaves filed a $US1 billion ($1.35 billion) lawsuit against British insurer Lloyd's of London and American tobacco giant RJ Reynolds today, accusing them of profiting by committing genocide against their ancestors.

One of the defining traits of genocide is a lack of decendants. So these people are either using the wrong emotional term or don't exist.

DNA testing has made a "direct connection" between Farmer-Paellmann to the Mende tribe in Sierra Leone, whose people "were kidnapped, tortured and shipped in chains to the United States", the lawsuit said.

Sierra Leone. Lovely place with 2 million refugees and thousands dead from 13 years of civil war. Maybe RJ Reynolds should charge the descendants for saving them from the current state of their "homeland".

I am somewhat slack with admin stuff.
Added Todd McKenzie - looks like a charming chap but may be not as PC as he appears.
Added Tim Blair because Sister Mary said it's compulsory.
Added Day by Day because we need to free Damon.
Added Frank because he scares me. Frank scares us all.
Added The bitching Monaro as he has links to hot girls with clothing deficiencies.
Added the Man of Lettuce cause he's a cabbie with a heart of gold, unlike those fuckers parked in the middle of the street near Norths Leagues.

13 year olds slay endboss without having to use savegame:



I'm betting the players thought this RPG was lame; forced to go through pointless "training" levels, then 30 endless "frag minions of Yasser" levels and when you finally get the good equipment, full health/armour and L33t buffs you camp the endbosses spawn point to find he's a guy in a wheelchair with 10 hit points and crap loot.

Yassin's Chair - Magic item

Enables wearer to command any NPC with INT <45

INT -10
AGI - 75
Save VS missile -100

Maybe they'll release a patch.

I visit Yahoo news daily. Today, a pair of old worn jeans and a bottle of baby oil on this mincing, androgenous clown is news:

A model wears an outfit from the fall/winter collection of designer Jie at Fashion Week in Toronto, Tuesday March 23, 2004. (AP Photo/Adrian Wyld, CP)

Announcer: "Now here's Stevo with this years new look; 1990's jeans and oiled nipples. He's ready for work on the small block chev in the living room, collecting his dole check or taking Shantelle to the Penrif Macca's for a romantic night on the town."

I got halfway through the second paragraph before the penny dropped...

I'm preferring to think that reflects poorly on her. But the jury's still out.

Update: It changes the translation everytime you refresh. I got a mostly tame one the first time.

The spiritual leader of Hamas, Sheik Ahmed Yassin has been killed by the Israeli's. Merde in France hits the nail on the head:

"Break out the pigskin shitsack for the remains"

Update: Frank has more. As usual.

Jason Van Steenwyk is home from Iraq and feeling "a little dissociated from everything".

***You notice Matt fitting an onion to his belt

We had a guy in our unit whose wife would wait till he got back from being out bush, shake him awake on his first night and whisper "stand to!". He'd roll over to get his webbing and weapon and fall out of the bed. Bitch.

Via Paul & Carls daily diatribe

Fisk has assembled a page of pictures of bombs and titled it "Weapons of Terrorism and Mass Destruction".
He couldn't resist including this picture:


The charmingly named USNavyTurds.jpg.

I took a minute to check the picture out and confirmed it is a fake.

Further down there's another picture of armament fitters arming an aircraft with some sort of munition cleverly disguised as a centreline fuel tank:


Devious imperial troops fit WMD disguised as fuel tank to aircraft.

Then there's the scariest picture of all:


Time traveling oppressors from the 1960's in action carpet bombing innocents in Iraq.

Yet again I wonder if Fisk and his kind aren't employed to make the peace movement look like loonies...

Fresh from their failure to outlaw the teaching of evolution, the "Crusaders for Christ" are trying to ban some books in schools:

The group's leader, the Rev. Dwight Holcomb, told board members, "You're going to answer to God Almighty for your decision."
Among the books the Crusaders for Christ want banned are "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck, "The Martian Chronicles" by Ray Bradbury and "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.

I'm betting that Dwight has more than a passing familiarity with the banjo (and I absolutely refuse to use the words "cousin" and/or "sister" at the end of that sentence).

There's a downside to marrying into an incredibly rich capitalist family and then running for President as a lefty.
From the Times of India:

H J Heinz & Co, the family business of Kerry and his wife Teresa, has spread its ketchup operations across the world. Of the 79 factories that the food processor owns, 57 are overseas. Heinz makes ketchup, pizza crust, baby cereal and other edibles in such countries as Poland, Venezuela, Botswana, Thailand, and most of all, China and India.

On an unrelated note; why is it always a pleasure to read Indian english?

I used to work in the fashion industry. So I understand the requirement for changing fashions every year - it's to encourage women to buy more clothes than a small village could possibly need.
But why the hell retool, redesign and remarket new men's boots every damn year? It's not like last years boots are going to make me feel all retro is it?
All it does it piss men off who find boots they like and then cannot buy more the next year.
Fuck you very much, Colorado.

From the Australian's breaking news page this morning:

04:30 Serb nationalists rampage

Angered by ethnic clashes in Kosovo that targeted their kin, Serb nationalists rampaged today in Serbia, torching mosques and threatening Kosovo's ethnic Albanians with "slaughter and death".

06:30 UN to meet on Kosovo violence

The UN Security Council scheduled an emergency meeting today on the worst violence in Kosovo since the province's war ended in 1999 and the United Nations took over its administration.

07:00 Kosovo clash leaves 31 dead

Ethnic violence between Kosovo's Albanian and Serb communities has killed at least 31 people and injured some 500 others, a UN official said today.

Update:
09:40 UN staff evacuated

UNITED Nations staff in Kosovska Mitrovica were being evacuated by NATO-led peacekeepers and taken to an undisclosed location today, a UN official told AFP.

Kev cuts to the heart of the matter:

Get over it you dipshits. It's about Moslem extremists trying to kill us Infidels

Go check it out; it's got added wookiness* too!

*Wookie not guaranteed to please.

The person who pasted this hotchpotch of mangled cliches together is a:
A: builder,
B: soldier,
C: engineer,
D: PhD student in politics and international relations.

The tables of perception have been turned, and those who have fixed there colours to the mast of tunnel vision will be blown away by the resurgence of UN multilateralism: the only Coalition with diversity of opinion enough to keep us safe, and win this war.

Bah. The UN has used it's monopoly on diversity of opinion to keep people "safe" in Rwanda, Kosovo, Congo, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Ivory Coast, Zimbabwe etc. "Safe" in this case means beyond further harm. On account of being dead and all.
This crap is beyond ridicule.

See? When you are a good dog I don't have to hit you; isn't that what you want?

Involved in a small road accident? Happens all the time, no worries.
Involved in a small road accident while pissed? Exchange details and get a tow truck fast.
One of the other vehicles is a Police Booze bus? You're screwed.

The BBC has published results of a poll they commissioned in Iraq that "suggests Iraqis are happier than they were before the invasion, optimistic about the future and opposed to violence." Has the world gone topsy turvy? The BBC not spinning Iraq in a negative light?

But wait; there's more:

It suggests that the reporting of the daily attacks on the occupying forces in Iraq could be obscuring another picture.

No shit Sherlock. And the BBC has been called the Bagdad Broadcasting Commission for which reason?

But admitting that their reporting was hiding the real situation is a sign that the times are a-changin at the BBC...

Update: The BBC story was heavily edited/rewritten last night (19:02 GMT). I can't see that the editing has changed the article's main points though. One change was the removal of the other news organisations that commissioned the study - the American ABC was one.
Also, the story was attributed to David Loyn and now is anonymous.

and stay for the retreat, imprisonment, humiliation and shoe beatings. Via Tim Blair.

Ahmed Abdel Razzaq went to Iraq to fight the Americans and die a martyr. He ended up in a U.S. prison camp after the Iraqis he went to defend captured and sold him for $100.

That's around $1.33 a kilo; pigs fetch more (and smell better).

Lebanese Nadim Khoder denies firing a shot in Iraq but came home in a wheelchair after losing both legs in U.S. custody.
The 24-year-old said a fellow inmate tripped a cluster bomb while they were clearing rubbish by the perimeter fence. A hairdresser who was the main breadwinner in a family of 10, Nadim says he plans to sue for compensation.
"When I was in the hospital far away from my family, surrounded by foreigners, I was always angry. I used to cry to feel better," he said.

Hey Islamofascists - if you are going to actually fight soldiers (rather than bomb women and children) don't send your cry-baby hairdressers.

Lileks on Spain:

At least Spain knows what’s expected of them now. If they remove the Socialists from power some day, they can expect a few bombs here and there to remind them of their place.
It’s like sitting on a cooler of raw meat with tigers prowling around, and deciding to put down your rifle so you can throw some steaks at the tigers.

Dihydrogen monoxide is an odorless, tasteless chemical that can be deadly if accidentally inhaled.
So city officials were going to ban it in Aliso Viejo, California.

I'd make a promise; in the event that the federal election is attacked, as has happened in Madrid, I would triple the number of troops fighting the war on terror.
Because otherwise I might get to be PM over the bodies of my countrymen.

The Australian is carrying this story of two men killed by Israeli forces:

TWO Palestinians were killed by Israeli army gunfire today in the Gaza Strip near the Karni crossing point into Israel, security sources from both sides said.
Israeli army sources said troops saw two "suspect silhouettes" in a prohibited area approaching the security fence dividing the two territories and opened fire, hitting them both.

So according to the Australian these guys were killed for having suspicious silhouettes. Naughty Israeli troops!

Yahoo has a lot more facts:

A relative of one of the two Palestinian militants, shot and killed by Israeli forces in an off-limits military zone between Israel and the Gaza Strip, weeps in the hospital's morgue shortly before their funeral in Gaza City Saturday March 13, 2004. The two militants, identified as Mohammed Haboush, 20, and Saed Mraesh, 20, from a small Gaza militant group called the Ahmed Abu al-Resh Brigades, were armed and were apparently trying to cross the fence to stage an attack when they were killed by the Israeli troops.

So the information the Australian "missed" is that these guys were:

in a off-limits military zone,
members of a "militant" group; the Ahmed Abu al-Resh Brigades,
armed and
getting into position to attack.

That's a lot of details to omit (because as usual these little details make the Palestinians look bad). Maybe the story will be updated later; it was posted at 1850 last night so I am not holding my breath.

And for the record this is a suspicious silhouette (from the "goons" at Something Awful):

This slack jawed cretin refused a caesarian section solely because it would have scarred her stomach. One of her babies died as a result.
Now she has been charged with murder. The usual suspects are unhappy:

"It's very troubling to have somebody come in and say we're going to charge this mother for murder because we don't like the choices she made," Driessen said.

Driessen is a law professor at Brigham Young University. Naturally.
One of the choices she made was to rather "lose one of the babies than be cut like that" and;

A nurse, Regina Davis, told police she instructed Rowland to go immediately to one of two other hospitals, but that Rowland said she would rather have both babies die before going to either place.

Hopefully the surviving baby doesn't have it's mother's intellect and is removed from her care.

Let's consider where the war (in purely strategic terms) would be right now if the enemy didn't attack on 9/11?

Iraq would still be working on WMD programs,
Iraq would still be funding and encouraging suicide bombers to kill children in Israel,
Iraq would still be training terrorists,
Afghanistan would still be training terrorists,
Libya would still be working on the A bomb,
Iran's nuclear program would be under no pressure,
Pakistan would still be handing out the nuclear how-to book to anyone with cash and bad breath,
We would still consider Germany and France allies,
We wouldn't realise that the UN has become a dictator's club,
Our military alliances would not be as strong as they now are,
Our enemies would think us still weak,
Our intelligence agencies would not have access to the enemy's leaders,
Our enemies would not fear us, but
above all, we would not know war had even been declared.

The western world can withstand 9/11s, Bali bombings and Madrid bombings indefinitely. They are not a threat to our existence.

The direct and only real threat to our existence is our enemy obtaining WMD. Which are now, as a result of militarily insignificant warnings such as 9/11, a lot harder for our enemy to obtain.

This is the sort of comment I don't attract: "Reading this blog is roughly the equivalent of watching a homeless guy trying to negotiate 11 layers of dirty clothing in order to masturbate."

If you visit, do not open the picture. You have been told.

thebud: the passion of the christ?
Indago: if i wanted to see a bad actor get nailed, I'd watch the paris hilton video

Manboobs!

"It is a matter of just having that discipline every day to put half an hour, 45 minutes aside for exercise," he said.
"I've started with fruit for breakfast, I think that's a pretty good discipline and basically when I've lost weight in the past, that's how I've done it: fruit for breakfast, cleaning up the diet and daily exercise so hopefully it will work this time."

Maybe that old, about-to-retire, flat chested PM Howard bloke could give him some pointers?

Consider the following responses to stimuli; in this case incoming molotov cocktails:

NSW police response = stand there and take it. Result: 40 wounded police.
Israeli Defence Force response = Bang! Result: no IDF casualties.

What is the only difference between the NSW police and the IDF soldiers?

NSW police eat donuts
IDF personnel eat pizzas

Therefore, Matt's theory of pizza induced testicularity states;
Increased pizza intake results in enlarged testes in young men.

Corollary:
We are being emasculated by Krispy Kreme. Bastards.

It's all a horrible mistake, Hicks was just holding the RPG for some friends, says his lawyer, Reginald B Sadsack III.
The famous photo of Hicks holding an RPG is apparently a posed one; he's not actually using the RPG.
He's posing with it. As your decent, law abiding Australian men are want to do.

Now if I was PM I'd have him bought immediately to Australia, where he'd be released because we don't have retrospective terrorism laws and then I'd have Brick top do him in: "Brick Top's way of doing business is with a stun gun, a plastic bag, a roll of tape, and a pack of hungry pigs."

Hamas, Islamic Jihad and al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades have combined their talent in a joint operation that resulted in absolutely no impact to Israel whatsoever.
Six palestinians died and 15 were wounded.

Pizzas all round!

I have several mates who have attempted selection into the SAS. One of these self-powered exoskeleton doohickey's would help.
Unfortunately some fuckwit in the procurement process would need to screw with it so it would never work properly (eg. boots).

Why is it that rioters can get away with trying to kill police officers?
If I was to throw a bomb at someone I expect to be charged with attempted murder. That's because the whole point of throwing a bomb is to kill someone. Why should I be charged with lesser offences if I'm with a large group of people all trying to do the same?
16 people have now been arrested over the Redfern riot; I predict that none of them will receive a sentence over 3 years.

Small world innit? What do the following people have in common?

Bilal Khazal - sentenced to ten years by a Lebanese military court for financing a group accused of terrorist attacks.
Five men whose Lakemba and Bankstown homes were raided by ASIO after after Willie Brigitte's arrest.
Zeky Mallah - the first person charged under our new anti-terror laws.
Ghielmie Daniels - arrested after 24 explosive devices and other equipment were allegedly discovered in his Liverpool residence.

and Hazem El Masri - the Bulldogs star player who is refusing to supply DNA to clear himself of the latest ARL rape allegations.

So who is the link?
It's lawyer Adam Houda; who is also Hazem El Masri's agent.

As for refusing to give DNA (thus leading the entire country to assume he's guilty); I can only imagine the chat at training:

Teammates: "Management want us all to give DNA samples; what are you doing, Hazem?"
Hazem: "Oh, I'm refusing because my lawyer said it's a gross indignity."
Teammates: "Aren't you worried that it'll make you look guilty? I've seen Discovery Channel crime night and if anyone refuses to give a sample they are guilty."
Hazem: "My lawyer says I don't have to unless I'm a suspect"
Teammate: "But you'll be the only one not doing it, aren't you worried about a simple process of elimination?"
Hazem: "Process of what? You're a Union player!"

Update: Hazem himself now gives his reason for not supplying DNA: "I just didn't want to be associated with such filthy, horrible allegations, so I stood up for my legal rights and refused to take the test."

Ann Coulter has a new column up:

Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity (as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of "kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and doesn't answer to the name Mohammed").
The other complaint from the know-nothing crowd is that "The Passion" will inspire anti-Semitic violence. If nothing else comes out of this movie, at least we finally have liberals on record opposing anti-Semitic violence. Perhaps they should broach that topic with their Muslim friends.

AustralianPolitics.com is on strike in support of the Victorian teachers.

If Latham gets in we can look forward to this site never operating again. Sweet.

From the women can do anything better than men department:
Ultimate car for women
No bonnet to lift on car women created

Good points:
None. Perhaps it's appearance will serve as a warning to other drivers in the area, just like a real Volvo?

Bad points:
Concept car cost three times as much.
You cannot easily access the engine (by design), thus screwing roadside assistance.
The front end comes off in the workshop; converting 4 individually replaceable parts (two front guards, a bonnet and a bumper) into one large hideously expensive one.
It books itself in for services; thus relieving the driver of any choice in timing, location and cost of services.
It has a not-yet-invented dirt repellent exterior; try respraying that after a shopping trolley ding.
Has gull wing doors. So don't open the door if it's wet and you don't want a shower.
It identifies the driver as a girl with no man in her life and no idea about cars, the local garage will adjust prices accordingly.

Anna Rosen, 27, one of the project leaders, said the all-woman team was a "huge step forward not just for the car industry but for society in general".

To date no car manufacturer has deliberately designed a car that half the population will refuse to buy*. It's hard to see how it could be a huge step forward for anyone.

* Everyone refused to buy the Leyland P76.

Nice arms; she must work out.

This person was born a man and is now playing in womens golf tournaments. He, she or it has won three South Australian women's amateur championships.

She's been invited to play in the Australian Women's Open.

Golfer Laura Davies doesn't have a problem with this - so long as Mianne Bagger isn't any good:

"She's a girl now and good luck to her. Life is too short to be worrying about [her previously being a man]. She doesn't hit the ball 300 yards, why not give her a chance?"

I'm figuring this will last till Mianne Bagger or someone just like her drives the ball 300 yards or wins a tournament. Or till she's spotted bench pressing 100kg in the gym.